This weekend it was my dear mums SURPRISE birthday party..... for me it was a case of, NO, its that family thing..!! I have a deep rooted terror of family get togethers... not because we argue or fight or the fact that there would be line dancing, no nothing like that, I just dont know these people....why ?
Its that split family thing, the divorced parents, my stepdad has five children, my mum has my brother and me... so in total there are the seven of us.... so when mum and stepdad got together there was the usual family divide.
At the time I was 11, my bro was 10, then there was D she was 15, R he was 13, T she was 11 (and in my year at school) L she was 4, and finally E he was six months old.....
Bro and me lived with the newly formed parents and the other 5 stayed with their mother... this of cause had endless problems.
New parents then decided to move to another town, I say town, there were 5 other houses and the nearest shop was 3 miles away, so we were away from our dad, our friends and everything else that was familiar, then to hurt a little more we had to spend the first 18months living in a caravan while the house was made habitable.
I can not begin to tell you how it feels for a girl trying to find her path in life to live in a caravan with a man I hated (strong word but this was how I felt at the time) and also learn to deal with five other children that had all of a sudden become family. I didnt know how to cope....D, R + T were people that I had previously spent time with, we all swam for the same club and travelled together to swimming galas, our parents met at the swimming pool... so I blamed myself for the split between my mum and dad.... that is how it felt at the time. It also became difficult to spend time with D R + T, it all of a sudden felt uncomfortable...
This was when I became the child from hell, I tried everything to split this new family up and get my mum back with my dad.
I was the black sheep, I was constantly in trouble.... that way my mum had to talk to my dad...it didnt work obviously, but I still hated my stepdad with a passion. At 16 I took the first opportunity and left for London, then two years later joined the RAF and never went back home again for the next 7 years, I had no contact with any of the family members at all.
So back to the party, D didnt attend, (so I havent seen her, it must be 20 years since the last time) T was there with her husband and 2 boys, I have seen her intermittantly and it was good to see her, R was there with his wife and daughter, his daughter is now 16 last time I saw her she was 3, L didnt attend was sick, E was there, the last time I saw E he was 13 years old.....he is 27, no I didnt recognise him, and he didnt recognise me, but once we got together, there was no stopping us, we had so much to say.
We line danced together and did some country dancing, had some drinks and laughed together for the first time as adults....after the party we (my bro, R and wife, E and girlfriend) then went clubbing together, I eventually got to my hotel at 5 in the morning. I didnt want the night to end...
So to finish, it may have been my mums surprise party, but I think I also had a surprise, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed spending time with my family... I WILL see them again, and I wont leave it so long to see them again.
My family are not so bad after all......xx
